The Voice We Lost: A Song Silenced Too Soon

By Mpundu Valerie

Disclaimer: This story is inspired by real emotions but is a work of creative storytelling. Names and some events have been changed. Medical details have been simplified for storytelling purposes and are not medical advice.

Bella had serious vocal cords. Even her yawn would make anybody pay attention. She could hold a note with her breath never selling her out.

I adored and loved every moment she sang in school. We were popular because we all sang, but Bella was mostly favoured, and I understood why. I would also have favoured her. That girl was vocally gifted.

We always won in school competitions. She was going far, and we always pictured her name on billboards, in magazines. Her vocal prowess was eloquently unmatched. Competing against her was a total waste.

Dad had her whole life planned. He would manage and support her. He had understood Bella was a gift the world deserved to hear. After we had finished our A-Levels, Dad wanted us to relocate.

We were about to leave and live the American dream. All we had thought and dreamt of was inches away from reality. While Dad planned travel for us, my sister was getting booked for private performances.

One day she choked on her voice. It was then she started showing symptoms that never stopped.

The doctor showed us a small butterfly in her neck. He said it's called the thyroid it sits right on top of the voice box, in front of the windpipe. In Bella, that butterfly had grown a hard stone inside it. Cancer. That stone was pressing on the nerve that makes us speak and sing, the recurrent laryngeal nerve. That's why her voice was choking, why she was hoarse, why her breath was short.

We were all broken and shattered when we heard the doctor say she won't be able to sing anymore. That was okay, maybe.

Not until the doctor told us she didn't have much time to live.

I couldn't bear to hear the rest of the explanation. I bolted out of the room and ran till I could not run no more. I was crushed, broken. Every fibre in my body hurt. I wanted to die in her place. Why had we been dealt this hand? What great sin had we committed for a punishment like that to be sent upon us?

My parents were pretending to be strong. But in the middle of the night I could hear them screaming. Their tears ran out of their beds. The atmosphere grew heavy. They were crumbling.

Dad pooled and pulled all funds just to save Bella. It was too little, too late.

Her last moment was the hardest thing we have ever watched.

We were all around her bed. The machine was beeping slowly. She was trying to breathe, but the stone in her neck wouldn't let air pass freely. Her chest was working so hard. We held her hands. She tried to say something no sound came out, only her eyes. Her eyes were still singing even when her voice couldn't. She looked at each of us, one by one, as if to say thank you, as if to say it's okay, as if to say don't cry.

Then her hand went cold in mine. And the beep became one long, straight line. I have never heard a silence that loud.

And whenever someone takes the time to listen, truly listen, to another human being, I imagine that somewhere, in a place beyond my understanding, Bella is singing again.

Her voice was silenced.

But the love it left behind is still speaking.

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The Voice We Lost